You know what can be super awkward? Writing your own biography blurb. Or just having to talk to people about yourself, like the ever-present interview question: "Tell us about yourself."
See, I like to believe that I'm a complex human being, and that it's hard to get to know me in three sentences or less. When people ask me to tell them about myself I freeze up and forget all the interesting things about me (my tongue is the same length as Gene Simmons' tongue, I've swam with dolphins, I graduated high school at 16, when I first met my father-in-law I lied to him about my age because it was just habit by then, et cetera), and they end up hearing about cookie-cutter me. Which, to be honest, is probably better for job interviews. Having a long tongue isn't exactly a prerequisite for most jobs.
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| Although you have to admit; it is pretty impressive |
Today I had to write a bio for my new school's webpage. I wrote my name, my credentials, and some of the places I've lived, and then this crap came out:
[Spotalotamus] loves
hiking, mountain biking, swimming, and playing in the snow. She also loves reading, learning new things,
baking unhealthy food, and her cat named C.A.T.
Ya, my students are going to be SUPER excited about the new teacher who is just like every single other person in the world. I mean, once they get to know me they usually like me, but that bio is just...sad.
I've never really been great at first impressions though. I met one of my best friends by looking her up in my middle-school yearbook and calling her (she had written in it because we had mutual friends, I think), and then I left mid-hangout and she spent an hour or so alone with my mother. There's a great first impression for ya. "Oh, she's creepy AND rude! I really want to be friends with her." Honestly, I have no idea why she kept hanging out with me (but I'm grateful she did; she's still one of my best friends ten years later).
In one job interview I was way too honest: "I'm usually really good about showing up on time, but you know how sometimes you're a little late...And I'm a hard worker, mostly. My least favorite thing about working in customer service is the customers, honestly. They can be super rude sometimes" (that wasn't a joke; I said almost those exact words when interviewing for a position at K-Mart).
One of my favorite stories is that of the job interview that led to my future student-teaching position, though. I was interviewing with two principals at the same time (they were from the same area; one was a high school and the other a middle school). I was doing okay, and I'd made them laugh a couple times by quoting Calvin and Hobbes, so I was feeling pretty confident. Then this happened.
Principal 1: So you don't have a minor?
Me: No, I have a composite degree, so I know pretty much everything there is to know about Biology (I often exaggerate when I feel awkward).
P1: Oh really? Like the scientific name of the bald eagle?
Me: Of course! Baldis eagalis (I also have a really bad habit of jokingly lying when I feel awkward).
Principal 2: That's impressive! (He wasn't a scientist.)
P1: Close; it's Haliaeetus leucocephalus (turns out he was a wildlife Biologist before becoming an administrator).
So, I ended up getting the job with the second principal. And when I saw the first principal a year later can you guess what the first thing he said to me was? "Hey! Baldis eagalis!" (True story.)
It may seem like I've gotten off-topic, but I really haven't. Topic: first impressions, and how terrible I am at them. I may be an interesting, multi-dimensional person who is intelligent and witty and charming at times, but people who have only met me once usually think I'm a lying, exaggerating, over-confident tool. At one point in my life that probably would have been the correct impression to have, but I like to think I've grown since then.
Do you have any embarrassing first impression stories? Write it in the comments; it'll give the other readers a nice change-up from having to read my writing all the time :)
I've never really been great at first impressions though. I met one of my best friends by looking her up in my middle-school yearbook and calling her (she had written in it because we had mutual friends, I think), and then I left mid-hangout and she spent an hour or so alone with my mother. There's a great first impression for ya. "Oh, she's creepy AND rude! I really want to be friends with her." Honestly, I have no idea why she kept hanging out with me (but I'm grateful she did; she's still one of my best friends ten years later).
In one job interview I was way too honest: "I'm usually really good about showing up on time, but you know how sometimes you're a little late...And I'm a hard worker, mostly. My least favorite thing about working in customer service is the customers, honestly. They can be super rude sometimes" (that wasn't a joke; I said almost those exact words when interviewing for a position at K-Mart).
One of my favorite stories is that of the job interview that led to my future student-teaching position, though. I was interviewing with two principals at the same time (they were from the same area; one was a high school and the other a middle school). I was doing okay, and I'd made them laugh a couple times by quoting Calvin and Hobbes, so I was feeling pretty confident. Then this happened.
Principal 1: So you don't have a minor?
Me: No, I have a composite degree, so I know pretty much everything there is to know about Biology (I often exaggerate when I feel awkward).
P1: Oh really? Like the scientific name of the bald eagle?
Me: Of course! Baldis eagalis (I also have a really bad habit of jokingly lying when I feel awkward).
Principal 2: That's impressive! (He wasn't a scientist.)
P1: Close; it's Haliaeetus leucocephalus (turns out he was a wildlife Biologist before becoming an administrator).
So, I ended up getting the job with the second principal. And when I saw the first principal a year later can you guess what the first thing he said to me was? "Hey! Baldis eagalis!" (True story.)
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| Hali: salt, Aeetus: eagle, Leuco: white, Cephalus: head |
It may seem like I've gotten off-topic, but I really haven't. Topic: first impressions, and how terrible I am at them. I may be an interesting, multi-dimensional person who is intelligent and witty and charming at times, but people who have only met me once usually think I'm a lying, exaggerating, over-confident tool. At one point in my life that probably would have been the correct impression to have, but I like to think I've grown since then.
Do you have any embarrassing first impression stories? Write it in the comments; it'll give the other readers a nice change-up from having to read my writing all the time :)
haha! Thanks for the laugh. The first time I met Forrest's mom, I said crap and dang...later on, Forrest told me those are two words his mom absolutely despises. So that was awkward.
ReplyDeleteAnd that was so rude to leave me with your mom, to make jam, and then to fall out of your van. Actually, that's probably why we're friends. Because I'm so awkward and fall out of people's vans.