I come from a large family. Large in height, large in noise, and large in number. It's a little crazy coming home to visit - we had fourteen people for Christmas without any extended family at all (granted, I am counting my baby nephew as a person because that makes it seem crazier).
I never liked having a big family while I was growing up. This trip home both my mum and my little sister brought that up, and for the life of me I couldn't remember WHY I didn't like having a big family; I just didn't like it. Maybe it was the lack of privacy (ha, my brain said prih-va-see as I typed that - dang Doctor Who), maybe it was the constant noise, or maybe it was just because I was a teenager and I hated everything. Now that I'm older though, I love my big family. I can't imagine it any other way.
In a big family you always have friends. Growing up, my best friend was my older brother. He and I did everything together, and did so until he left on his mission and I went ahead and got married. Now I would say my best friends are The Man, my little sister, and that same older brother. I hang out with them more than any friend from school, work, or church. We have history together - inside jokes, stories from when we were kids, common interests and ideals...I love the relationship I've got with my siblings. I'm not saying it's impossible to have sibling best friends in small families; it just seems like the odds are higher when you've got a ton to choose from :P
In a big family you get insight to how different people really are. I mean, I have the same parents as my siblings, I've lived in the same places, had the same consequences and rewards, attended the same schools and had the same teachers, and yet we all turned out tremendously different. My family includes a super-intelligent medical student who's always been very motivated and responsible, a super-introverted but secretly funny artist, a teacher, a bleeding heart who loves studying cultures and different lifestyle choices, a super-conservative gun-toting, truck-driving entrepreneur, a nerdy and lovable gamer/engineer/architect, and three more personalities that are just barely starting to emerge. We are so different, and it's totally true that if you treat us EQUALLY none of us will be treated FAIRLY. We all have different needs and ideals and it's not fair to treat us the same.
In a big family you learn that nothing is ever going to go perfectly, and you've got to roll with the punches. Tonight, I really wanted to take my younger siblings to go see "Frozen." We all got ready, packed into the car, and drove the 45 minutes to the theater only to discover that the show was sold out. Instead of making it a huge deal, we treated it like an adventure - we got to visit two movie theaters in one night! We drove over to the dollar theater, got into a movie that had started 20 minutes before (and was a totally different movie from the one we had come down from the cabin to see), and still had a fun time. Sure, the house isn't always clean and the meals aren't always gourmet and the plans don't always go as we'd like, but we're used to it. Life isn't about perfection; it's about enjoying the experience.
In a big family you learn to apologize. As a Mormon, I believe that the family I'm with right now is the one I'm going to be with forever, and forever is a long time to be giving the silent treatment. The belief that I'm going to be with these people forever helps me get over petty arguments and insensitive comments quite quickly, and that skill has transferred over to my relationships with other people because I've done it so much with my siblings.
In a big family you learn how to have fun without electronics. It's hard for nine kids to share a Nintendo. Possible, but hard. This Christmas break we've played tons of board games, crab-raced, Weeble-Wobble Wrestled (my dad came up with it - you pretty much cross your legs and arms, wobble around on your ischia, and try to knock each other over), played chicken feet with an exercise ball, debated politics, sang together, put on an irreverent nativity play, and much more. Sure, we've played video games too, but if the power went out we wouldn't have been bored.
I love my big family so much. We are loud and crazy and active and funny and coming home just gets better and better each time. It's crazy watching my little siblings become actual people with ideas and thoughts, but I love it.
The Man's always saying that he wants a big family, and I finally get it. Big families are awesome.
Great post. I love my big family (though it's obviously not as large as yours!) and I wish I had more of a desire (maybe even, more patience) to have more than a few. I wouldn't trade my siblings for anything! You do have a wonderful family. Interestingly, I read an article recently about how people who have more siblings are less likely to get a divorce. Makes sense to me!
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