Stop Saying You Have "Straight Pride." Please.

I recognize that this is not a "What Was I Thinking Wednesday" post, but I had to get this off my chest.

I have friends on both sides of the gay marriage camp.  Some of them are super excited for this big step in human rights and some of them are convinced that it’s the gateway to pedophilic marriages.  I guess how I worded that statement kind of gives away how I feel, but not entirely.

In my post on homosexuality a while back I speculated as to why my religion is opposed to gay marriage.  The church released a statement soon after the Supreme Court ruling explaining the doctrine behind our stance.  This statement also indicated that our church’s stance has not and will not change – we do not support gay marriage.  I understand and agree with that stance.

So there’s that.

However, it’s one thing to not support an action, and it’s another to go out of your way to be hurtful and rude.  I have no problem with people saying “I support heterosexual marriage;” that’s fine.  It’s the “straight pride” movement I have issues with.

What does it even mean to have “straight pride?”  That you’re proud you’ve never considered suicide purely because of your biological impulses?  That you’re proud a large portion of the world doesn’t look at you and think, “oh, they’re just trying to get attention; they really could change if they wanted to.”  (Agh!  Punctuation dilemma!)

For the vast majority of gay individuals, “gay pride” does not mean “I’m different and I want you all to pay attention to me!”  It means, “I’ve struggled with feeling different, feeling guilty, feeling like I’ve sinned purely because of my thoughts, and now I’ve finally accepted that this is who I am and I’m still a good person.”

Gay individuals are not trying to ruin your life or your family, they are trying to find peace with themselves and find joy in their own lives.  Just like straight people.  Don’t mock them for recognizing who they are and being okay with it.  “Straight Pride” is just about as Christian as saying “I’m so proud I don’t have cerebral palsy!”  They’re born that way, they’re dealing with being “different,” and they don’t deserve that treatment.

So please, just stop it.

A Poem I Wrote

I feel like every Mormon writes religious poems.  Is this a thing in other religions too?  I have no idea.  So, not to be outdone by my peers, I apparently wrote a religious poem too.  I say apparently because I had forgotten all about it.  I was going through some old notes from school and I found it.  Want to read it?  Well, if you keep reading you’re going to have to.

I had a voice inside of me, its timbre still and small.

It brought me peace and brought me joy and answered to my call.

One day I brought in other voices: doubt, fear, stress, and selfish choices.

My still small voice had place no more and it slowly left my mind.

Though my head was full of noise and my neurons ran unceasing

I could feel a gaping void with hollowness outreaching.

I missed my peaceful, still, small voice guiding each and every choice.

I kicked myself for bringing others and letting that one go.

I tried pushing out the other voices dwelling in my head;

I told them they did not belong, but still, not one voice fled.

I struggled, whined, called life unfair, and cried ‘til I was spent.

Then I realized my folly – a call was never sent.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head, opened my mouth and softly said,

“I need thee; please return.”

I felt the doubt and fear seep out and my soul filled with a voice

that loved me and smiled as it said, “you just needed to make the choice.”

Some of the stanzas are a bit awkward; maybe one day I’ll fix them but I’m too lazy right now.

So when I created the “schedule” for my blog postings, I told myself that Sunday would be for spiritual thoughts, and then I avoided writing on Sunday.  I don’t know what my hold-up is; if you’re not interested in spiritual thoughts you just won’t read them.  So…here I go.

In case it isn’t obvious, I wrote that poem about the spirit of Christ.  In the LDS religion we believe that every person is born with “the light of Christ” – the ability to feel His spirit from time to time, guiding us in our decisions and testifying to us when something is true.  When we are living according to the commandments of God, that voice is readily available to give us peace, guidance, comfort, and more.  If we let ourselves put other things before God, that voice will slowly leave us.

One of the incredible things about God is this though – He is always willing to give us another chance.  Regardless of the choices we’ve made, regardless of the unworthiness we feel, if we are truly desirous to follow Him again, we are welcomed with loving arms.  As a tangent, this does not mean it is fine to sin - repentance is still a requirement for any past sins – but it does mean that God loves us at all times and is always willing to take us back when we’re ready. 

It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life and to ignore the Lord.  It’s easy to focus on work, school, kids, working out, relaxation, and all the business that comes with life, because that’s what’s right in front of us.  That’s what’s tangible; that’s what feels real.

I’d like to bear my testimony that God is also real.  If we make time to remember Him in our day-to-day lives I know that we can have fuller lives because of it.  Like many people, I struggle with depression, anxiety, and scores of other things – when I have asked for help, God has always been there for me.  Every single time.  There are two important things to remember though:

            You have to ask and believe that He can give you the comfort you need.

            You have to remember that His answers are not always physical blessings.  At times you’ll just have an idea come into your mind.  At times you’ll just feel His love for a moment.  Sometimes the help is even something we’re not super excited about (ever prayed for patience?  Haha…).  He will help if you ask for it though.

I know that God is real.  I know He has been the best support for me in times of need.  I know that we need to make a conscious choice to bring God into our lives, and that we will be blessed for that choice.  I encourage you to invite God into your life today.  Act in a manner which He would be proud of and record any blessings that come to you while you’re living for Him; I bet you’ll be surprised at how often God’s hand is shown in your life.

On Homosexuality

I’m going to try something crazy here; I’m going to write on a super controversial topic.  No, seriously.  I chose this topic because it’s something that has bugged me for years and years and today I finally received some clarity on the matter.  As you’re reading this, please do so with an open mind and recognize that I’m not trying to change your mind or incite a riot; I’m just trying to explain why my religion takes the stance that they do.

If I had to choose one problem that I had in the past with my religion it would be their stance on homosexual relations.  When you’re reading the bible, you do see mention of some homosexuality, but it’s not really specifically called out as a sin.  People with same-gender attraction are just as capable of being loving parents (I’ve known several), just as capable of loving God, and just as worthy of my respect and love as anyone else.  It frustrated me to no end that my church fights against their right to be married and raise families together.  I read a ton of information that the church has put out regarding homosexual relations: what you’re advised to do if you find yourself struggling with same-sex attraction, what to do if you discover your child is homosexual, what to do if your spouse tells you they are attracted to the same gender, et cetera.  I never really felt like a satisfactory answer was given though: Why are we so against their happiness?

I’ve heard it argued that it’s because homosexual partners cannot produce children, but that didn’t seem right to me.  There are plenty of heterosexual couples who are sterile; are they bad too then?  I’ve also heard that children need a mother and a father, and while I agree to a point, I have seen some very happy and stable children come from families with homosexual parents.  There had to be more to it than just that.

And then today I realized something.  It’s not that we’re against their happiness; it’s that we’re FOR their happiness in the long-term.  Before you throw your computer against the wall and send me hate mail, please listen to why I say that.

In my religion we believe that this life is just a very very tiny amount of time, and the majority of our growth and development will take place in the next life.  We believe that in the next life we will have the opportunity to become gods, to create our own worlds, and to populate those worlds with our own children.  We believe that God himself went through a mortal life like we’re doing now, that He performed admirably, and because of that He was able to become a god.  We believe that every human that has lived on Earth is a spiritual child of God created in the same way that children are created here on Earth. 

We do not believe that homosexuality is a phase or a means to attract attention; we recognize that those feelings are real and that it is a lifelong struggle if you choose to forgo a homosexual lifestyle.  We do not see it as a weakness, but as a trial.  Just like all other trials faced here on Earth, we believe it will be lifted from our shoulders in the life to come. 

The Mormon church tells us often to look at things “in the eternal perspective.”  Instead of focusing entirely on this life, we are asked to look into the future and recognize that we are working for a higher purpose than just our mortal lives.  That was the piece of information that sparked my epiphany today.

I’m going to sum up the points I just made, and then put them all together for you.

1. Our mortality is a VERY small portion of our lives.  There is much more to follow.

2. In the next life we will have the opportunity to become gods and fill our worlds with our own children.

3. Homosexuality is a mortal trial, not an eternal characteristic.

*Edit: The Man wanted me to emphasize that this is not the church's official position, as the prophet has not come out and said this exact idea.  This is my personal understanding of the issue, but it is based off of church doctrine.

Almost everybody wants to progress and become more than what they currently are.  In the next life progression is becoming a god.  As gods and goddesses we will have the responsibility to create worlds and children to populate those worlds.  There is no adoption in Heaven.  Heterosexual couples that struggled with infertility on Earth will have that trial lifted from their shoulders, and they will have the ability to create.  A homosexual couple would not have that same ability, since the method of creation is the same as on Earth.

The reason my church fights against homosexual relations is because we believe that in the next life homosexual partners would have no means to progress to the status of gods.  They would be literally unproductive, and nobody deserves a future in which they cannot progress.  God would not allow His children to be damned to a life without progression, which is why we believe homosexuality is a trial that will be lifted in the next life.

We do not believe that homosexuals are bad people.  “Homophobic” behaviors go against everything Christ stood for, and we do not condone those actions.  The church does not try to disrespect homosexual partners by fighting against their marriages; we honestly believe that staying out of a homosexual partnership is more beneficial for their eternal happiness.

Like I said in the introduction; I’m not trying to persuade you to believe what I’m saying.  I recognize that if you’re not religious this sounds insane.  What I’m trying to do is help you understand why my church holds on to its beliefs about homosexual relationships.  Maybe it can help you have an open mind about the seemingly close-minded doctrine of the Mormon church.