Sore Legs, Frozen Fingers, and a Sunburned Face

It's October now, and that means . . . winter is coming.

Okay, so I've never watched "Game of Thrones."  I'm a frequent-enough visitor of the internet to get many of the references though.

Anyways, winter.  This year I've been having the totally not-normal desire to go snowboarding (not normal for me; totally normal for other people).  The thing is, I have no idea WHY I'm having this desire.  I can probably count on one hand the times I've gone snowboarding in my life.  Skiing is a little bit more, but all of those times happened when I was a little kid.  My skiing memories come down to: complaining about my boots not fitting right, crossing the front of my skiis more than I would like to admit, being cold, thermal underwear, snowveralls (oh, I just came up with a name for those things!), not knowing what to do with my poles, and one distinct memory of my father taking me on a very steep run, where I promptly sat down and scooted my way down the entire hill.  Oh, and being on a ski trip when Sonny Bono skiied into a tree and died.  I'm not sure how real that last memory is though; I have a penchant for fabricating memories.

My snowboarding memories are a bit better, since I was a little bit older and boys were involved.  The first time I ever snowboarded a boy that I had a crush on convinced me to get clip-ons instead of bindings.  Stupid, stupid Spotalotamus.  I spent the majority of that day on the bunny hill trying to get my stupid boots to attach to the stupid snowboard because the stupid ice kept building up on top of the stupid clips and...I have some issues with clip-ons.  Oh, and he also convinced me that I was "goofy" (snowboarding term, not mental capacity).  The next time I went snowboarding was with another boy I had a crush on.  He convinced me to use bindings and that I was "regular" (left foot forward).  This second time was a much better experience, but I kept switching my stance mid-run.  I would start off regular, then feel unsafe and switch to goofy, then feel unsafe again and switch to regular.  Actually, in the...four (?) times that I've gone snowboarding, I've never really figured out if I'm goofy or regular.  What I do know is that I'm slow, I can't toe-grind, and I have a knack for running into little kids (okay, it happened once, and they didn't fall over).

So that is why I am so confused about my sudden interest in snowboarding again.  Maybe it's my almost-never-used snowboarding outfit crying out to me.  Maybe it's the need to get an adrenaline rush since I don't know anyone with horses out here.  Maybe it's that I really like semi-squatting because of kickboxing.  I have no idea.  What I do know is that I am too poor to be a snowboarder right now, the only board I kind of own is at my parents' house the next state over (and it doesn't have bindings), and The Man is way too busy to go snowboarding with me.  Case in point: it's 3pm on a Saturday, and I've seen him for a total of 30 minutes.

I'm probably not going snowboarding this year.  Maybe next year.

The Worst Love Story Ever: Part 2

So where did I leave off?  My oh-so-smooth line?  K.

Turns out that line worked, and the super-cute guy that my friend had a crush on became the super-cute guy that I stole from my friend.  Two weeks after the kiss I convinced him that we needed to start dating by giving him the ultimatum of "either we start dating or we stop kissing."  Romantic, right?  A few weeks after that I started telling him that I loved him (because...I'm like that) and a few weeks after that he finally said, "I think I might be starting to love you too."  Which I decided to interpret as "I love you."  We ended up dating for a few months, and then I left to go back to school and my new man stayed home.

I'm not sure if you've heard this before, but long-distance relationships suck hardcore.  There was an upside of my lip-locking buddy being thousands of miles away though; I got straight A's that semester.  See, when you're depressed nobody wants to hang out with you, and you don't want to hang out with anybody.  You can either get a lot of TV watched or get a lot of work done, and luckily I didn't have Netflix.  After 6 weeks of not seeing him I called him up and told him that he either had to visit me or I'd break up with him because he wasn't serious about the relationship.  And...that worked out spectacularly for me because I lost a boyfriend that night.

The end.

Only you know that it's not because if you're reading this it's almost certain that you know me in real life and you know exactly what happened next.

See, I really liked this short but attractive man.  It wasn't just his impressive facial structure; from the very first time I had hung out with him it just felt...easy.  And right.  My older brother had always been my best friend, and when he left on a two-year mission for our church I had a hole in my heart where my best friend should have been.  The guy I stole replaced that missing portion of my heart.  He was funny, intelligent, kind, and helpful, and he became the best friend that I needed.

And that is why our break-up only lasted like...three days.  A while later we got married, and that guy I stole became The Man.

And he is just the best.
This was a couple of years ago; the only time I got him to do a fauxhawk.

So our love story isn't really as cute as most you hear, and it isn't a story I want my kids to emulate ("oh yeah, Suzy, go ahead and make moves on that boy and make out with him for weeks before committing"), but it's our story.  Oh, the proposal!

Remember that night hike I went on with him?  When I called my friend from The Man's phone?  Well when he proposed he took me back on that hike.  At night.  I knew it was coming, I just didn't know at what point he would get down on his knee.  Turns out it would be at the top of the hill, as I started heading down the other side.  He yanked on the hood of my sweatshirt from behind, and I jerked back a little bit, turned around, and saw him with the ring in his hand.  I can't even remember if he was on his knee or not...probably.  Who really cares though?

The Worst Love Story Ever

So it's 3:30 in the morning.  I woke up at 2 without an alarm.  It wasn't just a look-at-the-clock-and-groan-and-go-back-to-bed wake up, it was a caffeine jolt of energy.  And all because of stupid stupid midterms.  Midterms suck, y'all.  I thought I was on top of my grading, but in the past two days I have graded hundreds and hundreds of papers.  And I'm not even close to done!  It's been on my mind so much that apparently my brain thinks I needed to be awake and grading more than I needed to be asleep.
I'll show you, Brain.

In my break time I'm going to take my mind off my students totally and instead tell you a story: the worst love story ever.

Once upon a time there was a Spotalotamus.  Wait, no...Let's start that over.

It was the end of my sophomore year of college.  The school I went to has a weird track system, so I was going to school in the summer time and one of my roommates (also a good friend since...middle school, I think) was back home enjoying her time off.  She met a nice young man and started telling me stories about him.  She also had me look at pictures of him on Facebook (as all girls do, don't you lie), but I wasn't all that impressed.  However, I was happy for her.  She was moving on from a boyfriend I had hated and enjoying her summer time with this new boy.  Due to the weird track system, she was going back to school for the fall and I was coming home for my "summertime," so she asked me to become friends with the guy so I could find out if he was interested in her or not.

Fall rolled around and I was back home, and I finally met him one day at a service project.  Turns out he was super attractive, he just didn't look all that great in photographs.  Luckily for my friend, however, the guy was two inches shorter than me, and that's just a huge no-no in my book.  Unluckily for my friend I'm a sucker for good-looking faces (aren't we all?) and as the day went on I found myself flirting with him more and more.  When I went home that night I happily (and jokingly) informed my roommate/friend that her man and I were now best friends and I would be getting that information soon.

And then the trouble really started.  See, it turns out I actually enjoyed being around this guy, so I started hanging out with him more and more.  One time I even called him at 10 at night to go on a hike; he reluctantly agreed.  On the way to the hiking area I realized I had forgotten how to get there and I didn't have my phone, so I called my roommate/friend.  From the phone of the guy she liked.  At 10pm.  Because I'm a stupid jerk.  Even worse, I called her AFTER the hike to tell her that I was starting to become interested in her man, but I could totally stop at any time if she wanted me to because, you know, friendship!  Since she was clearly the better friend, she said something about just wanting me to be happy, but I could hear it in her voice that she was upset, so like the good friend that I am I listened to her words and not her tone and decided to go for it.

I shamelessly went after this poor young man, and late one night it was I that used the cheesy pick-up line: "I'm cold..."  He came closer and put his arm around me, and I brazenly turned my face up and went in for a kiss.  He pulled back a little, saying, "I've never kissed anyone before."  So, naturally (since it's been established that I'm kind of stupid), I responded with the oh-so-smooth, "it's okay; I'll teach you how."

To be continued (since the ungraded papers are calling my name)

A(nother) Rant

There’s a phrase I think we should all agree to stop using.  That phrase is “wait until you’re [insert a one-up here].” 

Maybe it’s just my stage in life, with all my friends having babies and people expecting me to do the same, but the one I get is “wait until you’re a mother” or “wait until you’re a parent.”  I didn’t realize how much it bugged me until recently. 

See, I believe that my feelings are valid.  Sure, maybe I’m not as tired as you or as stressed as you, but I am still PLENTY tired.  I am still PLENTY worn out from teaching all day.  Allow me to decide for myself whether my feelings are real or not.

If a child stubbed its toe and started crying about how much it hurt, you wouldn’t snicker and say, “oh, just wait until you break a bone” (unless you’re a terrible human being).  You would say something along the lines of, “oh, that looks painful.  How can I help you?”

Why can’t we do the same with adults?  Sure, the unemployed college student may be complaining about their workload and that may seem like a very petty thing if you work three jobs or have seventeen children or who-knows-what, but think about when you were in a similar situation.  Think about how stressful life seemed at the time.  Did you want to be told something akin to, “well you need to quit whining because you ain’t seen nothin’ yet and you’re not really in pain, you just think you are because you haven’t experienced life enough?”  (Oh, how it pained me to put that question mark there…but I couldn’t leave that beginning question hanging.)

Maybe people say things like that because the person being addressed never really calls you out on belittling them.  I sure don’t.  When people use the “wait until you’re a mother” line on me I’ll just smile pitifully and agree that, yeah, they’re probably right.  I will be more tired when I’m a mother.  Inside I get upset, but I’m so non-confrontational that I just push that feeling down until it comes bursting out in diary entries or nightly conversations with The Man or a blog post.

So here’s my burst: Stop telling me that my feelings are not real.  Stop telling ANYONE that their feelings are not real.  If they say they’re stressed, take their word for it.  If you can’t comfort them yourself, throw chocolate or video games or spa coupons or paintball gear at them.  For the love of huckleberry ice cream though, do NOT tell them to nut up or shut up.  It makes us feel like worthless stupid whiners.  We’re stressed/tired/heartbroken/depressed/worried enough as it is.

“Mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” –Mosiah 8:19.  If someone’s having a hard time, let’s agree as a species to sympathize with them instead of telling them to grow up.  Let’s get back to that human decency thing I’ve heard so much about.  Agreed?

Let's Talk about Plants, Baby; Let's Talk about You and Me...

Hey there, it's been a while!

I'm not sure what to write on today.  I'm currently procrastinating my hammering out of next week's lesson plans, grading, and cleaning my house, and I thought this would be a semi-productive outlet for that procrastination.

I think I'll write about plants.

Snooze-fest, right?  Well, not really.  See, I think we know how important plants are, but we don't really KNOW how important plants are.  Sure, they're pretty, and sure, they can smell nice, but did you ever stop and think about how much of your life you owe to plants?

I never really cared about plants all that much.  Botany was my least favorite subject (I took four classes on it), I kill every plant I try to keep in my house (not on purpose), and I don't enjoy eating them all that much.  I take that back.  Fruit is pretty awesome.

Teaching Biology has given me a new-found respect for plants, however, and I'd like to share that respect with you.

1. Plants give us the oxygen we need to breathe.
I'm starting off with the most obvious one.  Plants take our waste product (well, sometimes they take a few of our waste products) and make it into oxygen (their waste product).  If photosynthetic bacteria hadn't started photosynthesizing billions of years ago, the atmosphere would never have been able to sustain life as we know it.  Earth would still be surrounded by a cloud of carbon dioxide and nitrogen from those awesome volcanoes (which we also owe a huge high-five to), and the only life forms would be those thermophilic (heat-loving) bacteria you can still find in places like Yellowstone.

2. Plants give us the sugar we need for energy.
Blasphemy!  You may scream.  Sugar comes from terrible big corporations that are out to make us zombies addicted to their food and we should cut it out of our diets completely!
Or maybe you didn't scream that.  Hopefully you didn't.
Besides oxygen, the other waste product of photosynthesis is sugar.  Plants take in carbon dioxide and light waves, and they make glorious, glorious sugar.  If you can't photosynthesize, you have to get your sugar from eating something that does (or something that ate something that does).  Even if we had somehow managed to come about without oxygen, we wouldn't have an energy source, because without sugar we don't have ATP (adenosine tri-phosphate), and without ATP, you are a puddle of useless goo.

3. Plants give us the carbon we need to form cells.
There's a reason humans are called carbon-based life forms in science fiction.  Can you guess why?
Aw, you little genius, you!
And can you guess where we get carbon from?
Sugar!  Good ol' C6H12O6 (glucose) made from photosynthesis.  Without plants making sugar and us eating plants (or eating things that eat plants), we wouldn't have the carbon we need to create the cells in our body.  Way to go plants!

4. Plants give us the nitrogen we need to make proteins. 
How much do you know about amino acids?
Well, you've probably heard the metaphor about DNA being a blueprint.  The thing it's a blueprint for?  Amino acids.  There are 21 amino acids, and different combinations of amino acids code for different proteins, and EVERYTHING in life is made up of proteins.  Our bodies can produce some amino acids, and others we need to get from our diets.  You know what else?  Every single amino acid has at least one nitrogen atom.
You may know that around 78% of Earth's atmosphere is made up of nitrogen, but did you know that we can't do anything with the nitrogen found in the atmosphere?  Guess who we have to rely on to get us that nitrogen?  If you guessed plants, you're catching on ;)
Not all plants can get us the nitrogen we need, mind you.  They have to have special bacteria in their roots to grab onto the nitrogen found in the atmosphere (N2), rip it apart, and make it into a form our bodies can handle (usually nitrate, which is NO3-).  Legumes (like beans, peas, and alfalfa) are the most common plants that can convert nitrogen for us, which is why your mother always told you to eat your peas.

5. Plants give us the over-stimulation we need to de-stress.
A man named Richard Louv wrote a book about how as a society we are pulling more and more away from nature, and how that pull away is hurting our emotional well-being.  It's called Last Child in the Woods, and even though it repeats itself quite a bit after a while I recommend at least getting through half of it.
One thing Louv talks about is the rising incidents of ADD in America.  If you've learned about ADD, you know that people with it have a hyper-focus mode.  The problem is they aren't always focused on the things we want them to be.  Louv goes into studies of children with ADD being exposed to nature.  Turns out the over-stimulation calms the children down considerably, making them more able to focus on the task at hand when they're asked to do school work or pay attention at home.  If they can't hyper-focus, they can let themselves relax.  I don't know if you've felt "the healing power of nature," but I sure have.  Even on days when my mind is going 80 miles a minute, going into nature calms me down almost immediately.  Suddenly I'm trying to take in the enormity of the sky, the height of the trees, the smell of the world around me, and I forget what I was so worried about.

So did I succeed in convincing you about the radical nature of plants?  (I'm trying to bring "radical" back; work with me here)

You owe plants quite a bit.  Go out and high-five a tree today or something.

Joy Versus Pleasure

I don't know about you guys, but I grew up learning that joy and pleasure were two different things.  When I went to look them up in the dictionary, I was a bit surprised:

Joy: a very glad feeling; happiness, delight
Pleasure: a pleased feeling; delight; one's wish, will or choice

Wait, so...They mean the same thing?  What do you think of when you hear the word pleasure though?  What about joy?

When I think of pleasure I think of coming home from a hard day of work, kicking my feet up on the coffee table, sinking into the couch, and biting into a spectacular chocolate bar.  Or maybe sliding into a hot bubble bath after being out in a rainstorm and hearing the rain pounding against the windows while I sit enveloped in warmth.  Or maybe getting kissed on the cheek while laughing.  Those things bring me pleasure.  Maybe for you it's watching your sports team pull out the winner from a neck-and-neck game.  Or driving your motorbike super fast down a freeway.  Or singing along to your favorite song in the car.  Pleasure is awesome.

When I think of joy I think of looking into The Man's eyes on our wedding day and knowing that I would be spending eternity with the man that I love.  I think of my parents' house on Christmas day, with my millions of siblings  (ok, 8 siblings) ripping open presents and hugging each other and laughing and getting excited about giving gifts to each other.  I think about what it will feel like to hold my own child in my arms for the very first time (and the thousands of times after that).  I think about late nights spent talking with friends, the feelings I get at church, and hugging.  Joy feels different to me.

At church today one of the speakers put it into much better words that I ever could have: Pleasure is about me and now; joy is about us and forever.

Looking back at what brings me pleasure, I can totally agree.  Pleasure is a personal thing.  It's about getting what you want at that moment.  Even the definition kind of agrees with me there: one's wish, will, or choice.  Pleasure isn't really about making other people happy, it's about making yourself happy.  And there is nothing wrong with that at all.  We should definitely get pleasure out of life.  Life would be a whole lot less fun without moments of pleasure.

However.  "The kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost" - Romans 14:17.  "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith" -Galations 5:22.  "Men are, that they might have joy" -2 Nephi 2:25.  We're not here for fleeting moments of pleasure; we're here for joy.  The joy of family, the joy of friends, the joy of service, the joy of knowing that you are loved and important and necessary.

I believe joy is garnered from growing positive relationships with each other, serving people who need our help, recognizing your blessings, and being grateful for the good instead of focusing on the negative.  Joy is that feeling that we've found a little bit of Heaven on Earth.  Joy is an almost overwhelming feeling where you can almost feel God's arms wrapped around you.  Joy is so much more than pleasure.  Joy, to me, is God showing us a tiny fraction of how much He loves us.

If you've felt true joy, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Eating an amazing chocolate bar will NEVER be as great as holding your newborn child.  I'm not saying the chocolate isn't wonderful, I'm just saying the child is so much more so.

Are you ready for today's challenge?  Bring joy into your life.  Foster meaningful relationships.  Help someone out.  Call up your parents or siblings or children and tell them you love them.  List the blessings in your life and thank God for all He has given you.  I promise you that if you actively try to bring joy into your life it will come, and it will change you for the better.

By Request: Some Workouts

I was asked today if I would post some links to my favorite workouts on my blog.  My favorite ones range from 10 minutes to 55 minutes, and they're all possible to do in your house with little to no equipment.  I love that because I don't have to be sweaty in gross in the gym; I can just flail around all uncoordinated in my living room and nobody will judge or stare.  So if you're looking for some fun workout videos, here are my top 8:

*Disclaimer: These videos are mainly geared towards women, but that doesn't mean they don't work just as well for guys.  Give it a try!

Pop Pilates Beginners

This is great for if you're just starting workouts again.  Pilates is nice and low-impact, but it's awesome for toning your body.  This particular workout is about 30 minutes long and she introduces you to form, breathing, and all that good stuff you need to do pilates successfully.

Pop Pilates Full Body

Once you're comfortable with the beginners video, this is a nice step up.  It's still not too difficult, but you will feel the burn in your abs when she does that portion.  This workout is about 15 minutes long.

Pop Pilates Arms

This workout is short (10 minutes) but VERY worth it if you're trying to tone up your arms.  Unless you already work out your arms a lot, you're going to be sore.  In a good way.
*Edit: I just did this one...it wasn't nearly as difficult as I remembered it.  Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow though :P

Jillian Michaels Kickboxing

Now we're moving into the ones that are a little bit more intense.  This one's not too bad, but she will work you.  The workout only lasts about 20 minutes, it's easy to follow along with, and it's pretty fun.

Jillian Michaels Banish Fat Boost Metabolism

This one will make you hate Jillian a bit more.  Probably because this is a 55 minute workout.  I love this video for the circuits.  It's good to change up the type of exercise you're doing, and Jillian changes it up enough so your muscles don't get too exhausted, but you are working.

Workout TV Kickboxing

My favorite right here.  It's a 40 minute video with lots of punching and a little bit of kicking.  I think Chris is what makes it so fun though; she cheers you on and just looks so darn excited the entire time.

Workout TV Total Body

Another 40 minute workout with Chris, but this one hurts more (once again, in a good way).  This workout uses circuits a lot more too; she alternates between strength and endurance.  You need hand weights for this one; a set of 10 lbs and a set of 5 lbs should work great.

Coach Kozak MMA

I put this one last not because it's especially long (15 minutes) or hard, but because it's the hardest to follow along with.  He moves very quickly and if you don't know your calls and you aren't watching closely it's easy to get lost.  It is a good workout though.

I mentioned it in one of the descriptions, but remember to change up your workouts.  Throw in some running or some weights-only days to give your body a bit of rest.  And, of course, drink a lot of water!

I would tell you that exercise is only a quarter of the battle and that if you're trying to lose weight or tone up changing your diet is a necessary part of your plan, but who am I kidding?  Well, no, I said that wrong.  DIET IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.  I just won't tell you my diet because I'm a stinking hypocrite and I don't eat well.  You should though.

Feel free to post your favorite workouts in the comment section!