Growing up I always had this sure plan of what I was going to be: a vet, a firefighter, a massage therapist, a zookeeper, et cetera. At those times in my life I was 100% sure of my path in life; what I would be doing and how I would get there. What I wouldn't give to have that clarity now.
See, I followed that path. I did the college thing and the student teaching thing and I even skipped the difficult public schools and got a job right in a charter school like I wanted (technically still a public school). I love 2/3 of the subjects I'm teaching, and the third is sometimes fun. I got married, have an apartment, own a cat that lives in a different state...My path has led down a dang sunny trail.
I'm not sure if it's a trait all humans have or if I'm just a little too wanderlusty, but just like Ariel, I want more. I get bored when I fall into routines and patterns. Problem is, I'm not all that sure what "more" is.
Sometimes "more" is a change in scenery. I have moved...over 10 times in my life (not counting moving back home over school breaks). I liked moving. Then again, that was back when I could fit all my belongings in the back of a small sedan. It's a bit harder to pack up a two-bedroom apartment into a car. It wasn't even just moving though; I've been known to get bored and arrange spontaneous road trips just to get out of town for a while. I like exploring - maybe I could pick that up again.
Sometimes "more" is a new look. A new haircut, a new jacket, a new outfit; something to make me feel like I've evolved a bit in my style. As great as it is being dependable and having one personality, I like feeling a little more [professional, punk, stylish, attractive] every once in a while.
Sometimes "more" is new knowledge. I LOVE reading, and the internet sucks me in so easily when I try to catch up on what's going on in the world around me. I miss going to classes. Not being in school, but going to classes and learning something new every single day. It was awesome.
Sometimes "more" is hobbies. I dabble in exercising and cooking, and I recently decided to start flexing my musical muscles again. We'll see how that goes. Hobbies make me feel special, they give me goals, and they give me confidence in my abilities. I just need to use them more...
"More" for me is just...change. My own evolution in the quest to find fulfillment.
I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied, and I'm not sure that's such a bad thing. I still find joy in life. I'm still grateful for the blessings I have. I just know I can do and be more.
What do you think? Is it bad to always want more?
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