I was all set to teach part-time in the fall. I had maternity leave all set up, we'd discussed pay rates, my little sister created a school schedule so she could watch Stormageddon in the mornings; everything was in the works. Even though I had it all set up though, I was super conflicted. I mean, could I honestly grade at home with a newborn? Would my students suffer because I wouldn't be putting the time in at home? What about feeding my baby? (TMI?)
And I was praying about this every night, asking for some confirmation that I was doing the right thing. Well, I got an answer. A few days ago my administrator and I sat down and had a talk; the school is growing a LOT next year (like, 70 new kids) and they really need more than a part-time science teacher. So I was let go.
I didn't expect it to be such a relief.
That afternoon I started looking for jobs (I kinda like the sugar momma feel), and I kept shying away from education jobs. See, I don't know if I want to be a teacher anymore.
I usually do enjoy teaching. The kids are really fun and we can have some awesome discussions. It's just...the parents and the meetings and the grading and the countless hours put in once I've finally gotten home after 10 hours at the school and the early mornings and...I'm tired. The time in the classroom, actually interacting with the kids? Phenomenal. The time at home, feeling beat and stressed and drained? Not so fun.
Now, I know my friends with kids have to deal with children 24 hours a day, seven days a week, but...it's different. I am responsible for the academic future, behavioral growth, and mind-stretching of over 100 teenagers. Half of whom don't want to be there. At least with your own child there's some type of primal love between you, and when other parents get upset about your parenting style you can just blow them off. With teaching (especially non-contracted teaching like with my charter), my job is on the line every time a parent gets upset with me. And I'm kinda done.
And yet a part of me wonders if this is just typical Spotalotamus ennui. I have this problem of being addicted to change and new experiences. I like to move. I like to cut and dye my hair. I like to run away and roadtrip. Looking at my past jobs (and past dream jobs), I can't help but wonder if my wanderlust has creeped into the job section of my life as well. I've been a concessions worker, a data entry monkey, an apartment leasing agent, and a teacher. And I've seriously considered options like firefighting, zookeeping, massage therapy, cosmetology (go ahead, people that know me; take a minute to laugh at that last one considering my fashion and make-up knowledge), and now...sonography.
I'm keeping all the curricula I've made this year, and I'll be keeping my teaching license up-to-date, but I'm going to try for a new direction. For the first time since...2009, I'm really excited about my career possibilities for the future. Bouncing around in my chair, huge smile on my face excited. I may fall flat on my perfectly sculpted bum, but I'm going to try. I've already applied to a few hospitals for some experience (volunteer; no way am I qualified for the other stuff) and I'll be taking a medical terminology course online (the only pre-req for schooling I haven't met). Stormageddon may have other ideas when it gets here, but I'm going to ignore the fact that I'm pregnant and just chase this dream for a bit.
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