Adult-ing (If the Definition of Literally Can Change, Adult-ing Can Be a Verb)

This afternoon I ran into a guy that I've known for about 12 years.  I went to school with him, ran cross country with him, he dated one of my friends, we went to the same church, he's good friends with my older brother...basically I know this guy pretty well.  I haven't seen him in at least a year though, so as I rode my bike past him my only thought was, "hey, that guy looks kind of familiar."  As soon as I realized who it was I stopped my bike and turned around to talk to him for a minute.  He's married now with a kid on the way, and it was weird because he didn't look like himself.  He looked like an adult man.

I honestly don't know how to explain that any better.  To me, my friends look just like they always have; we're kind of grown-up teenagers.  My friends have careers, children, houses, spouses, and degrees, but I never really realized that we are adults now.

It kind of opened my eyes a little bit.  See, I've always felt a little weird and apprehensive about my abilities as a teacher because I thought that my students just saw me as a few years older than them (which I am), but they see something totally different.  They see a woman who has studied and worked several jobs and lives on her own and pays taxes and worries about things like health insurance.  My students see me as an adult.

Not just that, but strangers who have no idea who I am or what I've done with my life see me as an adult.

Gone are the days of my actions being excusable due to my age.  Gone are the days of talking about what we want to do when we graduate college.  Gone are the 3am Walmart runs and the unabashed non-committal make-outs.  And the weirdest part?  I'm kind of starting to like it.

I like that other adults actually consider my ideas when I talk.  I like signing my own waiver forms and having my own name on my bank account and declining waiters' offers of alcohol with my meal.  I get excited when I think about mortgages, car loans, insurance forms, and all that other stuff because I AM DOING IT.  I am adult-ing.  I'm proving to myself that I CAN be responsible and capable and hard-working and I will NOT starve or go without clothes when I don't live with my mother.

I'm an adult, and I think I'm going to own that now.