The Taming of the Shrew

Today is my mother's birthday; she's turning...29.  Ish.

My mum is incredible.  She has raised 9 children, raced several 100-mile bike races in recent years, is pursuing a college degree, is actively fighting the school board back home for student privacy, makes friends wherever she goes, and does it all with an auto-immune disease, hypothyroidism, and osteoporosis.  I can't think of many people that I respect and love like I do my mother.

On top of all that, my mum is gorgeous.  I don't think she's
aged since she was 22.

Like all teenage girls (except for my cousin; shout-out to you, Cuz!) I didn't always love my mother like I do now.  In fact, from about 9 to 15 years old I made her life a living Hell.

I'm the first girl in my family, and my older brothers are the perfect children, so my mum was in for quite a shock when I came around.  I may seem calm and cool and collected in public, but I am a mood-swinging mess, and adolescence just amplified it.  I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the movie of my life shows a screaming fight every single day with my mother for those six years.

When I was around 16 years old I decided that I really hated the person I had become.  I yelled at my parents, my siblings, and my friends, my language was filthy, I dressed in clothes that were way too small for someone my size, and I just hated being at home.  Wow, maybe this should have been the post that I titled "I Was a Teenage Dirtbag."  Anyways, the point is that I was a tool, and I finally realized it.  I decided at that point that I wasn't going to be that person anymore.

See, even when I was acting like a beast sprung from the fiery pit itself, my mother still tried to impress good values upon me and my siblings.  She worked hard, she was unselfish in her service, she loved my father and treated him well, and she tried to treat everyone she met with kindness and respect.  She didn't give up her values just because I had, and that made all the difference.  Deep down inside of my little black heart I knew that I was a terrible person.  I knew I made life miserable for my entire family, and I knew that I was capable of being so much better.  Due to my mother's love and teaching, I knew I could change.

I started off with something very little.  I started telling my mother that I loved her every time I left the house.  Sometimes I didn't mean it and sometimes it was just out of habit, but I did it.  Every single time.  When I talked to her on the phone, I would always end with, "I love you."  I am totally and 100% serious when I say those three words changed my entire life.

I had been pushing my mother away for years and years, when all she wanted to do was love me.  Once I started expressing love for her, she instantly forgave me for all the tears and pain I had caused her for so long.  She would tell me she loved me back, she would hug me, and she would tell me she was proud of me.  Our relationship took a complete 180.  More than that, it changed me.  I stopped fighting with my mother, so my home became a much nicer place.  My siblings were less afraid of me, my parents were overjoyed to have me acting different, and I started to love being home.  When I felt that I was loved at home, it gave me the courage to change my behavior outside of the home.  Instead of being sarcastic, mean, and bitter I just became a little weird and crazy.  The change happened just in time for me to leave for college too, so for the first time in a very very long time, I actually felt homesick when I left.  I missed my family.  It was a weird experience for me.  Before that I had only missed my dog when I left (and that's not a joke, sadly).

We've almost hit the point in time where I've loved my family longer than I despised them, and that's pretty cool to me.  I know I made the best decision of my life that day.

The point of my story is this: You are not a static being.  If you find yourself unhappy with where you are in life, change.  Maybe it will be easy, and maybe it will be the hardest thing you ever do, but I promise you it is possible.

Also, to the parents of teenagers, things will get better.  Everybody goes through a little turd phase.  Keep loving your child.  Keep teaching them good values.  Maybe they won't take the exact path you want them to take, but they will become amazing people.  Have faith in them.  Let them know you believe in them and in their dreams.  And most importantly, love them through everything.