Why I Am a Cat Person

When I was growing up we always had cats and a dog in the house (we also had pets that lasted for much shorter periods of time, like parakeets, lovebirds, mice, hamsters, fish, crawdads, frogs, crickets, lizards, a brief stint with a snake, and probably many more I'm forgetting).  Even now when I go home to visit my family is housing three cats (one of them my own), a dog, some fish, a bearded dragon, and a four-year-old boy (my youngest brother).  I am so accustomed to having animals in the house that leaving my cat back home so The Man and I could live in our current apartment made me cry for days.  It just doesn't feel right to not have something to care for, which might be why I've been more baby-hungry than usual lately.  What I mean to say is, I really miss my cat, y'all.

How do you NOT miss something this adorable?
And if you can read her collar, yes, her name is C.A.T.

That extremely vocal ball of fluff and bad breath is the reason I decided to write this post today - to fight for cat ladies everywhere.  By the end I hope to have you convinced that cats are pretty darn awesome.

1. Cats are soft

There's no arguing with this one, folks.  Cats are super soft.  I have yet to meet a coarse-haired cat, but I have met many coarse-haired dogs.  Lots of dogs have been bred for their coarse hair because of its ability to repel water, and since nobody's really expecting their cats to swim across a lake to retrieve the duck they just shot, cats are almost all soft and fluffy.

2. Cats can be dropped 

This is especially awesome for when you have a cat that doesn't like to be cuddled.  You pick it up, snuggle it for half a second, and before its claws come out you just pull your arms back and let it drop to the ground.

Little known fact: The "come at me, bro" stance is really just people showing
off how great they are at dropping enraged cats.  See these arms?  No scars!
It's pretty intimidating when you know someone can move that fast.

If you picked up your dog and then let it fall on the ground, you're going to be getting some seriously sad-looking puppy dog eyes for the rest of the day.

3. Cats couldn't care less about you

Dogs have needs.  Mainly, they need your attention ALL THE TIME.  They'll follow you around the house with that look in their eyes.  You know the one.  'What are you doing?  Can I do it too?  Can we go for a walk?  Can I eat that?  Hey, you should totally pet me right now; that'd be so rad!"

Cats sit on the highest perch in the house and look at you with a very different look in their eyes.  You know the one.  "Oh.  It's you.  You're still here.  I'm going to close my eyes and when they open again you better be gone."

Though when you do need a cuddle buddy, cats are there.  They're happy to steal your body heat while you're sitting at the computer, or reading a book in bed, or sitting on the toilet (ok, maybe that last one is just inconvenient).  Cats are cuddly without being needy.  Like a good significant other.

4. Cats NATURALLY want to poop and pee in the litterbox

Even the big cats bury their poop.  It's an instinctual reaction to keep predators or competition off their scent.  Since it's burned into their brains, it's as easy to litterbox-train a cat as it is for me to coerce The Man into eating the desserts I bake.  They WANT to use it.  Sure, they track a little litter through the house because of it, but isn't that nicer than being woken up at 5 every morning by your dog that really really really needs to go pee right this second?

Plus, you have a fail-safe way of knowing your cats feelings.  If your cat poops or pees OUTSIDE of the litterbox, you know something is terribly wrong.  Something is stressing them out, they're sick, or you've been ignoring them for weeks.

5. Cats usually don't eat vomit, poop, garbage, or rotting corpses

If your cat does one of those things, they're probably not feeling well.  Cats are notoriously picky eaters, so you pretty much know where their mouth has been.  If you have an outside cat, that mouth has been murdering something.  Now, my cat loves to lick people, because she's kind of weird, but she's an inside cat so I know that mouth has only been used for eating food, drinking water, and cleaning herself.  Which doesn't seem as bad to me as a dog's mouth, even though they're probably pretty comparable.

6. Cats are hilarious

Little kids get the "10 o'clock crazies;" cats get the "all-the-time crazies."  Cats will freak out for no good reason and start sprinting around the house, showing a better knowledge of parkour than any human can ever hope to achieve.  When you're bored and home alone, this can be more entertaining than you will ever know.

Awwww yis!  Something is about to go down.
(Those eyes do look digitally enhanced, but it's pretty darn close to reality.)

7. Cats can be left inside all day

This is an awesome cat trait.  Maybe you work full-time, or go to school full-time, or maybe you're really into all-day snowboarding trips.  Cats are cool with that.  You just tell it goodbye, pat its head as it glares at you, and walk out the door.  They won't bite your table legs, they won't destroy your furniture, they won't howl inconsolably for hours...They just sleep.  

So to sum it up, cats are dogs without all the trouble of potty-training, neediness, and barks.  Cats are amazing.  Plus, we have Grumpy Cat.  So, automatic win.

Pure awesome.